All posts by andrea sherry horowitz

April Snowdrops

20150326_180208_1In the activities of the day, I might have drifted to a place –

Oh – how – wonderful,

Spring you have arrived,

Seems more nearly than in actuality,

Still a white blanket covers earth,

When the air is crisp,

And smells fresh and clear,

April snowdrops peeking through,

Awakening to this new spring season,

of a nose taking in the fragrant

flowers, and freshly mowed grass.

First Day of Spring 2015

20150320_164309Arriving home today, first day of spring 2015,

after a routine scheduled doctor’s appointment,

looking at the winter landscape,

with feelings of being in awe,

having snowfall on the first day of Spring 2015.

Wondering of the miracles to be seen beneath the blanket of snow.

Yesterday, a landscape having just begun to show,

the signs of springtime’s shining green foliage,

beginning to appear.

Fully absorbed, enjoying the last day of winter,

the bright rays of sunshine,

a day comfortable and safe for strolling outside,

walking, with eager anticipation of more days like this to come.

20150319_161819My vision,

looking toward the vibrant,

beautiful blossoming,

of the red and pink flowering azaelea.

http://www.slate.com/bigideas/why-do-we-feel-awe/essays-and-opinions/dacher-keltner-opinion

What This Winter Has Afforded Me

Feeding Time at Horowitz Hacienda in the Pines
Feeding Time at Horowitz Hacienda in the Pines

Looking,

out  windows,

of  the house.

 

Many feet of snow,

above the bumper of the blue car enveloped,

looking like a softly white puffy cotton cloud.

 

Outline of  pottery,

frogs,

barely showing through.

 

Earthen color,

reminder,

of  warmer days.

 

Foliage of Blue Holly,

and Climbing English Ivy,

eaten by a family of  hungry deer.

 

Icicles hanging from the roof,

a skating rink,

at the bottom of the stairs.

 

A time for being,

inside,

enjoying winter’s hibernation.

 

Furry dog,

who snuggles,

licks my face.

 

Taps me,

to tell me,

let  her out.

 

Will soon be,

glad to have,

her coat of fur removed.

 

Slinky soft cat,

who sits atop,

a pillow near my head.

 

Nuzzling,

for me to scratch,

behind her ears.

 

Arousing me,

to get up,

and let her out the door.

 

Sometimes, too,

hiding,

shadow in the room.

 

Waiting,

to spring forth,

upon the unsuspecting sadie dog.

 

The two of you having become good friends,

sitting side by side, and kissing,

makes us smile.

 

Creating art,

and time to explore,

the artist in me.

 

Daily meditation,

conversations,

and feeling love,

of family and friends.

 

What is such a mystery, Mother Earth,

underneath,

the mounds of snow.

 

The colors of the tree bark,

changing during winter’s season,

colors of sap appearing to flow.

 

Buds on trees,

i’ve seen,

a swelling.

 

Autumn leaves,

blanketing,

the flower beds.

 

Snowdrops, Crocus, and Hyacinths

will be the very firsts,

we see of spring.

I just voted for this Pink Glove Dance Competition video. Check it out!

I just voted for this Pink Glove Dance Competition video. Check it out! White Plains Hospital helping patients, families, and friends confront Cancer with Hope, Knowledge, Heart, and Courage…Please take a moment to watch this Pink Glove Dance…Norman and I had a great day with survivors, caregivers, and the compassionate professionals we’ve gotten to know. Check it out and please vote…

http://youtu.be/gItEB-OtnFQ

 

A Personal Essay on Suicide

A Personal Essay on Suicide – “The Children, They Don’t Get It – The News.”

A friend of mine wrote to me today.  He and his family are vacationing in a one room boathouse on a lake.  He shared that earlier this summer he and his wife told their children it was important to get to know this man, Robin Williams, who the children had not yet seen. During July their family movie to watch was “Awakenings”.  They brought “Dead Poet’s Society” with them on vacation to look at. He wrote “The children, they don’t get it – the news.”

When I read what he wrote to me I thought:

“WHAT-THE-NEWS-DOES-TO – The News”

Hearing of Robin Williams death, his passing from suicide, leaves me feeling wounded deeply and opened once again a very deep wound which has never healed. This wound isn’t supposed to heal.  I wouldn’t want it to heal.  It makes me remember.  It’s a wound that one must learn to live with, that one must ride through the storm and terror of grief.

I know, I have ridden through this storm and terror of grief.  I live with a cut, a tear, wounded and scarred. You see, our nephew also died, having committed suicide. He suffered with and battled depression.  He was very young when his father passed from Hodgkin’s disease. It was shared with us that it was as though Brian’s light went out when his father passed.  We, family, friends, did our best to add light, bring out the bright and brilliant sparks from the beautiful flame which we could sometimes see aglow within him.  Yet, his personal pain went deep to his core.

Robin Williams was not well, he was ill, he had an illness, psychiatric illness, mental illness (which of the two sounds less stigmatizing or not stigmatizing at all?), a symptom of which is depression, of which he was battling.  We’ve learned he was also diagnosed with and in early stages of Parkinson’s.  He was suffering with chronic illness. In desperation, he made a decision, a choice to end his life.  His depression became so deep that he was unable to see that the sun of a new morning would again arise after what was the darkest of nights for him.

For any family left behind it is devastating.  We are the survivors.  We, as survivors, deserve compassion. Robin Williams’s family is no exception to this.  They are survivors, the ones with a new fresh wound, one which will never quite heal.  One which has changed their lives forever, one which hopefully they will learn to live with, albeit difficult and challenging.

I think of my nephew Brian Horowitz every day. Amongst fond memories are those brought back when I see Legos and LEGOLAND, books such as The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame, and J.J.R. Tolkien’s The Hobbit: or There and Back Again, and Narnia. These were just a few of Brian’s favorites. Rest in Peace, Brian.

My sister-in-law, Diane, you have my love.  I am forever grateful you brought this sweet soul into this world and gave me the opportunity of knowing Brian.  For this I will feel forever blessed.

In memory of Robin Williams, I will be revisiting and watching Robin Williams phenomenally portraying characters in film, and “Mrs. Doughtfire” is one frequently seen with my sister Francine.

RIP, Robin Williams.

May Robin Williams’s family be surrounded with love and light, compassion, caring and support of family and friends.  May they be embraced by our love, all of us who loved and appreciated their beloved.

I send my love and my compassion to his family.

To everyone reading this, you are not alone, there is always someone to reach out to.  If you or someone you know is struggling with depression or suicidal thoughts please seek help.

You can call: The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline                                  at 1-800-273-8255.

You can get through it.  You matter.  You make a difference.

After Surgery as a New Endometrial (Uterine) Cancer Survivor

I am one week out from surgery and feeling great.  This doesn’t mean that I’m going out dancing or doing acrobatics, lol, it means I feel as though I’m having a good recovery and I feel blessed. That fist night after surgery surely is the hardest. The pain is so grueling, the details need not be described, any post surgical patient knows what I’m talking about. I’d had surgery before, as an in-patient, fifty years earlier, and I knew I would tough this first night out,  this body having grown and weathered many seasons.  After I woke up from surgery, I remember seeing Norman (my husband) and a good lifelong family friend of ours who was keeping him company.  I remember speaking with my sister and another good lifelong family friend of ours who was staying with Francine and caring for her.  My husband stayed through the evening to see to it that I was comfortable and that I had what I needed, which was mostly apple juice and water.  I was heavily medicated.  I sent him home to get some rest.  How does one find a comfortable position during that first night, so many things have changed, a mattress that keeps pumping and changing position, and leg pumps to help with circulation. My left and right legs feeling so different from the Multiple Sclerosis, and this heightened sensation of numbness and heaviness in my right leg with the changing pressure of the pumping.  Nurses taking the time to find what would work, and using pillows, and rolling blankets, bringing extra pillows and blankets, to cushion  around my body, head and neck, stomach, waist, back, hips, legs, to help me lean into my side and give me cushioned support, comforting me after the Hysterectomy and with my symptoms from MS. There truly is something very special about those in whose care we are during that time. I am so grateful for the comfort brought to me during all those hours.

World Multiple Sclerosis (MS) Day 2014 – One Day I Wish For A Cure

We’re not quite into the summertime heat here in New York.  These past couple days have been a reminder of what’s yet to come.

Summertime brings thoughts and pleasant memories of travels and visits with family and friends, vacationing, beaches, pools, outdoor concerts, automobile races, ballgames, volleyball, walking, even a bit of hiking.  During the summer season now, the thought of heat, and Heat Sensitivity being one of the MS symptoms I experience, summertime, along with its many pleasantries, for me is also a season of even greater MS Challenges.

Daily activities become affected, sometimes symptoms change, affected differently in each season, and in differing climates worldwide.  Summertime for me the most challenging, I can’t help but wonder how friends with MS worldwide are affected.

The following are some things I do to beat the heat.  I have my ceiling fans circulating and cooling the air.  Individual room air conditioners are an option at our home for me.  I make sure to keep ice packs in the freezer.  They’re great for cooling my core, back, neck, and head… and YES, I remember the recommendations for applying ice for only 20 minutes on.

To stay hydrated I drink plenty of water, and keep ice on hand too.  I often let ice cubes or crushed ice, melt in my mouth, it’s very refreshing and helps in cooling.

Yesterday afternoon I took a cool shower.  Showering and washing my hair just before leaving the house helps me feel a bit cooler before getting out into the heat.

There are companies that offer cooling vests and accessories and if these are of interest, then you might also want to check for additional information by contacting your local chapter of The National Multiple Sclerosis Society or the nearest MS World Organization.

In going places and doing things, there are different types of access issues faced by individuals with MS, around the world, everything from access to treatments and services to mobility and leisure.

Current medication and treatments, where available, have been developed and manufactured in a number of countries.  Copaxone is the medication I take.  Teva Pharmaceuticals is the developer and manufacturer of Copaxone.  Teva Pharmaceuticals is in Israel.

A cure can come from any country or countries working together.   I Believe A Cure is Possible through Research and Collaboration Worldwide.

One Day I Wish For A Cure.

What part of the world do you live in?  What do you do to beat the heat?

MS Impacts Us All

Multiple Sclerosis (MS) is a autoimmune disease which typically affects movement, sensation, and bodily functions.

MS is caused by the destruction of the myelin insulation covering nerve fibers (neurons)  in the central nervous system.  I think of our nervous systems in like to an electrical system. When there is distruction of the sheath around a wire, the wire’s insulation is destroyed. When the wire’s insulation is destoyed, the wire frays, heats up, and can cause a fire.

One of the MS symptoms I personally experience is heat sensitivity. MS symptoms can become exacerbated (worsened) from heat.

The below link is to a video explaining how MS Impacts us all…

MS Impacts Us All